So, last night I was eating a huge helping of lasagna when a thought dawned on me: for my entire life, everyone who has said "you're not fat, you're just big" is an intellectually dishonest asshole. I mean, I know they meant well in not saying "yeah, you are fat, you tubby piece of shit!" or something to that effect. I know that they simply intended to spare my feelings. However, in "sparing my feelings", they were really being dishonest. Let's face it, everyone who is skinny calls fat people fat, either to their faces or behind their backs, mostly the latter.
As such, I take offense to this. If I wanted someone to sugar coat my shittiness, I'd ask, goddamnit! You can call me a fat, ugly asshole all you want, this is fine! Cthulhu (yes, Cthulhu, not God...Christianity is gay) knows that every jock, fratboy, and white gangster who had the balls to certainly called me fat. And as much as I fantasize every single day about the day when I finally stop caring about things and go back and systematically murder all those people, I also think there is some sincerity in their approach. After all, they were being honest in their thoughts. As shitty as it feels to me, it is the truth nonetheless: I am fat, I am ugly, I am undesirable to most women, and as a (generally) nice guy, I have almost always finished last in almost every respect.
However, with this honesty comes a sense of empowerment, as I now know that I can pretty much say whatever I want to anyone from here on out if they pull the "you're fat" card. Oh, I'm fat, am I? Well, you're a lousy Wop. I'm ugly? Well, cool: you're a fucking Ginger and I want to play "connect the dots" with your ugly spots. I'm obese? How about you're a fag? And I can go on from there. If one truth is OK, how is another not? The "truth" really is subjective, because to the 600 lb. man, I am skinny. To Clint Howard, I am beautiful. Everyone somewhere has it worse and sees things differently.
So, I am urging 100% complete intellectual honesty from now on.
With that said, everyone who ever called me fat is a gay retard and should be killed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment